In Another Life

Observing the ways of those unlike us can raise several feelings. Relief. Admiration. Disgust. Envy. Being a happily religious woman I like to think I have a healthy balance of these feelings to keep me in check. Proud to be observant and respectful but separatist when it comes to certain other practices. Still though, these practices come in shades and even secular people shy away from outrageous things that don't behoove them. Atheists believe that humans have morality even without organized religion. So sometimes the practices I observe get me wondering how much of my religious behavior would adhere if I lived in some alternate universe just according to my moral compass. Needless to say, I don't think the results are as perfect as Atheists make them out to be.


A recent post of Princess Lea's, together with today's incredibly hot weather got me thinking about this hypothetical, religionless "alternate universe" and which liberties I'd take if there was no such thing as the Chosen People. Some of these liberties are taken by Jews as it is, but they are things that I personally would not do. I hope I'm not coming across as resentful because I'm not; I just muse a lot about who I am and what defines me.


1) Modesty. How modest would I be if I did not have explicit laws of tznius? It wasn't much of a struggle to put on tights this morning, despite the heat (because I believe in their worth). For some reason tights are not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my least favorite tznius rule. For me it's the neckline. I would much prefer to wear a shirt with the buttons open midway, a low cut top, or a really sheer top. (Do I need to reiterate that I don't?) Length of skirts, length of sleeves don't irk me half as much. Sometimes I wonder though how daring I'd be fashion-wise if tznius was a non-issue, like would I dress like Nicki Minaj and Rihanna or would there still be part of me that says: NO. Haven't thought about that enough.


Over yom tov my friend and I were sitting in front of our houses shmoozing, when a red convertible pulled up and the driver emerged in a black halter bikini, wrapping herself with a huge rainbow towel. We live nowhere near the beach so I suppose she was showing up like this (with her boyfriend and 2 other friends) for some Memorial Day barbeque. I like that ease but not sure about being exposed in the wrong place at the wrong time.


2) I always dreamed of getting a tattoo, but no idea where or what shape I'd get. Professionals aren't supposed to have any in visible sight so that scratches a lot of possibilities.


3) Being promiscuous before marriage. I honestly don't think my moral compass would be strong enough to keep me "shomer." Hashkafic arguments are a different story (Do I need to state unequivocally that I am shomer?), but without religion and spirituality I don't see why being a virgin at marriage is so important.


4) Chipotle. I don't stop hearing about this Mexican Grill restaurant chain. Kashrus is a known chok so it wouldn't be on my moral compass to adhere to, yet at the same time I can't imagine being able to walk into any random eatery or bar in the city and eat. These places can be really disgusting and watching my peers dine made me realize how fortunate we are to have the whole mashgiach system in place, because we only eat within a certain network of known stores.


Along the same lines of dietary habits, I wonder what my relationship with alcohol would be. I'm not much of a drinker but I do like mixed drinks, and that's what's hardest to get in kosher. The other night my program had an end of year party in a fancy bar. They just opened a tab and told everyone to order what they want. I didn't go to this party, but I do think I'd have tried one of everything if there was no reason not to.


5) One last thing comes to mind: Zumba in Herald Square. I was once walking to the train and there was a huge dance party going on in middle of the street. It was a public zumba session that looked like a blast. Naturally I do not dance in front of men so I just watched gleefully for a few minutes. I totally would have joined if not for tznius (don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I have the self control to stick to what's right). When I mentioned it to someone later that night, they made it sound like I'd have to be the most uninhibited person in the world to consider such a thing. I guess that was his moral compass.


So what do you think of your own raw morality? Or do you think it's impossible to separate it from religion? I believe it was the Rambam who said that when walking past the nonkosher food stand, you shouldn't insist that the food is disgusting and that you cannot possibly eat it, but rather: אפשי, אלא אלוקי גזרה עלי. We're human beings who knowingly accept the burden of Torah. Our self-control and contentment with the mitzvos help us be a light unto the nations.